


you can't hide from your ghosts

by babybirdblues



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe, Boy-Who-Lived Neville Longbottom, Female Harry Potter, Gen, born-a-girl!Harry Potter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-04
Updated: 2018-11-04
Packaged: 2019-08-17 15:01:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,643
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16518728
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/babybirdblues/pseuds/babybirdblues
Summary: In another world, Harry Potter was born a girl.This changes quite a few things, for one, Tom Riddle didn’t believe a girl could defeat him.  So, he chose the pure-blooded boy. Chose Neville Longbottom and changed everything for two small children.





	you can't hide from your ghosts

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so I recently re-found this and I thought it was pretty neat. I don't really remember writing it? But, yeah. Someone on tumblr was interested in reading this, so.

In another world, Harry Potter was born a girl.

This changes quite a few things, for one, Tom Riddle didn’t believe a girl could defeat him.  So, he chose the pure-blooded boy. Chose Neville Longbottom and changed everything for two small children.

 

_ (Neville still ends up with his grandmother, shy and hidden away.  But this time, Augusta Longbottom doesn’t allow the abuse to happen to her only grandson, doesn’t let her brother push him off a dock, or out a window.  She raises him to know his parents, how much they loved him and he can be as great as them, she knows it. She’s still harsh and unyielding and Neville’s still terrified of her.  But, well, that’s another story.) _

 

Everything changes because Voldemort believes Belladonna is of no consequence to his plans.  A little half-blood girl who will be useless except to continue on her line. Her parents are annoying yes, but he can deal with them later. 

Voldemort never gets to.  He goes to find Neville and, well, everyone knows what happens then.

But Bellatrix Lestrange is still unstable, still a fanatic.  She goes to the Potters, knowing that it will give her clot with Voldemort, if she gets James and Lily Potter out of the way.  Why would her Master have to deal with some lowly family?

Except, Bellatrix never paid attention to anything other than what she believed was proper, was pure and right.

Little Belladonna loses her mother to Bellatrix and her Cruciatus curse.  But, Lily Potter was a talented witch, a genius some say. These four -- Bellatrix didn’t come alone, no she wanted to show off -- are no match for her because her baby girl is in danger.  Nothing is more dangerous than a mother cornered.

The Lestranges and Crouch Jr. never had a chance.

James comes home on duty as an Auror, fighting down panic as he takes in the dead bodies in his home.   When he comes to the living body of his wife, he breaks. Lily’s body is alive, but the Cruciatus took everything from her.

Sirius, his partner and brother in all but blood, is there as well.  It’s Sirius who finds his goddaughter hidden away behind a slew of protection spells and runes.  Sirius who takes the crying baby to St. Mungo’s’ children’s ward. Sirius who signs James in for Healing.  Sirius who takes care of Bell for weeks on end as James slowly recovers. Sirius who finds Remus standing over Peter because their former friend was spying for Voldemort.  Sirius who held onto Moony -- because Remus’ wolf was so apparent in that moment, almost as if he was rippling across Remus’ skin -- and begged for help. 

“I can’t do this alone, Moony.  I can’t take care of James and Bell by myself.”

Peter went to Azkaban and Moony went home with Sirius.

It takes years for the three to heal enough to function properly -- to live.  By then Belladonna is a precocious six year old with her parents’ brains and a thirst for knowledge.   She meets Severus Snape that year when James tries to go back to work. It doesn’t work out and Sirius and Remus have to spend weeks talking him back to before.

Sirius, so very tired, takes Bell to Hogwarts, by-passing McGonagall and Dumbledore, Flitwick and Sprout, even Madame Pomfrey.  He heads straight to the dungeons, into the classroom of newly appointed Potions Professor, Severus Snape.

The first thing he does is apologize.

Severus doesn’t know how to react to that, which is likely the only reason Sirius managed to leave the Castle without being cursed.  That, and Sirius went there for help. 

 

_ “Please, Snape,” Sirius is nearly begging.  Will beg if he needs to. “I know you hate me, hate James and Remus.  But Bell has done nothing. I know you’ll take care of her, protect her, because you love Lily, even when you hated her.  I can’t do this by myself and I don’t want Bell to see James like this again. She was so excited he came home.” _

_ Snape’s still stuck on Sirius asking for help -- and for the earlier apology.  “I suppose I must. If only to give the child a chance, Merlin knows she doesn’t have much with the three of you.” _

_ Sirius’ smile is blinding.  Snape wonders if this means they’ve all grown up.  He shudders at the thought. _

 

They don’t realise it, but that was the point in time where things changed.  Within a day, little Belladonna is set up in the spare room of Severus’ chambers, happily getting to know one of her mother’s old friends.  She babbles at him throughout the first day. All of the other teachers are afraid of Snape’s patience snapping. But to their surprise, he calmly listens, correcting words here and there.  He doesn’t tell them it’s because Bell had told him he was the person in her mama’s pictures. Doesn’t tell them that it’s because Potter and Black hadn’t thrown out or destroyed every picture he was in, every letter he wrote to Lily.  They had even gone so far to tell how Severus and Lily had been friends.

Belladonna changes in those few weeks.

Before she was content with being happy with Pads and Moony, visiting daddy and helping him get better.  But know she wanted to know everything. Like why daddy was sick in the first place, and why mama was gone. 

 

_ “But why is mama gone?”  She stares up at Severus with eyes just a touch lighter than Lily’s and Severus can’t say he doesn’t know. _

_ “A very bad woman took her,” if Black hasn’t told her this, Severus shouldn’t be.  But he’s never been able to deny Lily anything and it looks like the time with her daughter will be the same.  “They wanted to hurt you and your mother, Bell. But, Lily refused to let that happen.” _

_ “Was it me?” _

_ Severus blinks, confused.  “Was what you?” _

_ “Was it me, why mama’s gone?” _

_ Minerva, seated just to Severus’ right, chokes on her drink, hastily turning away as tears began to pool in her eyes.  Severus doesn’t move for a moment, can’t. But before the pause gets too long, he bends so Bell is looking at him right in the eye.  _

_ “Never,” Severus thinks this is why Black didn’t tell her.  “Your mother loved with you all of her being. More than anyone else in her life.  She chose to fight because it gave you the best chance you had. If anyone tells you differently, they’re wrong.” _

 

After that Belladonna questioned everything.

At first, James was uncomfortable with it.  His daughter was growing too fast for him to keep up -- he wasn’t there when she needed him -- she didn’t need to know the information she was asking after.  But he began to yield. It was impossible not to, when he loved her as much as he did, when he wanted what was best for her.

Sirius took a bit longer.  It wasn’t that he wanted her to be ignorant.  He just didn’t know how to answer some of her questions.  Like why Gryffindors hated Slytherins -- the answer was there wasn’t a really good reason, it was mostly petty and childish.  He sat her down a few weeks after that particular question and explained it. Told her that kids are cruel and vicious and a lot of the time you have to grow up before you can see what is happening.  Tells her he learnt the hard way and even if you learn it the easy way, as long as you learn it and fix your mistakes, it’s okay.

Remus thought it was a great thing to happen from the get go.  She should learn everything she could, because in learning you can be prepared.  (Remus has his own traumas he’s trying to get past, and if hoarding information helps him, the mind healer says to let it be, there are worse coping mechanisms.)  He had supported her questioning from day one, so, it was him that Bell went to, to ask if they’d be okay with it if she didn’t get into Gryffindor like them. Remus assured her that they would love her and be proud of her wherever she ended up.  If James and Sirius had an issue, they’d work it out -- and she could always set Uncle Sev on them to change their way of thinking.

Uncle Sev was a threat used far and between, because while they were friendlier with each other, there was still tension between Sirius, James and Severus.  Bell noticed it around the time she was seven, making it her duty to fix it. The funny thing was, she didn’t realise they knew the reason behind her ‘lunch dates’ and ‘information sessions’.  None of the four had the heart to tell her they were working on it themselves, for her sake.

It isn’t until Bell had turned eight, when Severus was again watching her for a few days -- it was Halloween and it was taking all Pads and Moony had to keep James stable -- that she asks what the woman’s name was.

Severus found himself unable to answer.  But, instead of accepting that, she turned to Dumbledore and demanded to know.  Watching an eight year old demand something from someone like Dumbledore was the most amazing thing anyone in the castle had seen in a long time.

 

_ “Uncle Sev won’t tell me her name,” Bell is standing on her seat, looking down at Dumbledore, hands on hips.  Her lips are pursed and her eyebrows drawn. She doesn’t know it, but everyone at the table is reminded of her mother so very much in that moment.  Flitwick has to hastily excuse himself before he begins to cry in front of the entire student body. “I deserve to know. She hurt my family and if I don’t know who she was, how will I help them?” _

_ Dumbledore caves, even in the face of Severus shaking his head wildly. _

_ “Her name, my girl, was Bellatrix Lestrange,” the twinkle in Dumbledore’s eyes lessens as he bows his head.  “You do not need to protect your family from her, your mother ensured she would never hurt you again.” _

_ Bell squints at the Headmaster, trying to gauge his truthfulness.  “Reminders still hurt.” _

 

That night, Bell made the decision to not be called Bell anymore.  The bad woman, Bellatrix, her name was too close to Bell’s own. She realizes, halfway through the rest of dinner, that only Sirius still calls her Bell.  Daddy and Remus call her all sort of nicknames, but never Bell.

 

_ “I’m gonna be Donna now.” _

_ Severus places the Daily Prophet down, raising an eyebrow.  “Going to; and why, pray tell, have you come to this decision?” _

_ “Because Bell is too close to the bad woman’s and only Sirius calls me that still.  Reminders hurt, but my name don’t have to be a reminder.” _

_ “Doesn’t -- and yes, I suppose that is as good a reason as any,” he plans in his head to break the news to the three before Bell, no, Donna does.  It will give the other men time to process. If they don’t react positively to the news, well, Severus did learn a new curse the other day. _

 

From that day on she was Donna.

It took some getting used to, Sirius for one, sometimes fell back into calling her Bell.  It was okay, as long as he did it when they were alone.

When Donna turned nine her daddy was cleared from Saint Mungo’s.  He only ever had to go back once a year for an assessment, unless something happened.  But Sirius and Remus told her they were going to do their best to stop that from happening.  She believed them. Only, she wanted to be sure. So, she convinced -- Sirius said she basically bullied daddy but she didn’t she swears -- daddy to come for a trip to Hogwarts to see Uncle Sev.

Donna abandons them in room on the seventh floor that Charlie -- a Gryffindor with red hair brighter than Donna’s own -- swears to her would do whatever she wanted.  She wants it to lock them in for as long as it takes to help them. They need to talk, like Remus and Sirius talk, and if Donna has to make it happen herself, she will.

 

_ Charlie marches her back up to the Room, as he calls it, the next morning, scolding her about her actions.   _

_ “But they need to talk!”  She should have avoided the Great Hall until daddy and Uncle Sev were done. _

_ “It doesn’t matter if they need to talk, you don’t lock someone up and leave them there.  It’s not okay.” _

_ Donna kicks the floor as Charlie paces. _

_ “Sorry.” She is.  Sort of. She just wants them to be better. _

_ “You can be sorry all you want, cupcake,” her daddy’s voice is stern, but not angry.  “You’re still grounded.” _

_ Donna chances a glance at Uncle Sev, but all he does is raise an eyebrow, daring her to say anything against her punishment.  Knowing Uncle Sev, he’d have wanted Daddy to make her clean all the potion equipment in the dungeons. “Okay.” _

 

The next few years go by quickly.  Too quickly for Donna’s guardians and family.  They take her to visit old friends -- she meets the rest of Charlie’s family and they all have hair brighter than hers, wow -- and to visit distant family -- she meets Sirius’ cousin Narcissa and her husband and son; it’s not a fun visit.

 

_ “I know he might be a ponce, but you have to be nice to him okay?  Until he hurts you or does something really wrong, try to get along?” _

_ Donna nods, lips pressed shut.  From the corner of her eye, she sees Sirius talking to Narcissa and her husband.  She didn’t hit Draco that hard, and he deserved it for saying that. _

 

By the time her eleventh birthday comes around she’s eager to go to Hogwarts.  But at the same time, she’s terrified of leaving daddy alone. She knows he has Sirius and Remus, and all his old friends.  But he’s her daddy and she has to protect him. So, she makes him promise he’ll visit Hogwarts once a month, or else. And by ‘or else’ she means she’ll get Uncle Sev -- “he’ll be Professor Snape to you during school hours” -- to let her floo home and then she’ll lecture all three of them until the morning.

  
  


Diagon Alley is fun, even if people are constantly stopping her daddy and Sirius to talk.  It’s almost as if they never see them -- they don’t really, the two plus Remus are content to stay in Potter Manor, only going out when they need or feel like -- and by the time noon comes around Donna is frustrated with the lack of shopping they’re doing.

She convinces Sirius that she’s responsible enough to go get her robes and potion supplies and books by herself.  It’s not like they’ll be very far and look, there’s the Weasley’s! If she needs help she’ll ask them. James had to relent in lieu of Sirius agreeing -- he’s still not confident in his parenting skills, even though he’s getting there.

It’s in the bookstore where she meets a muggleborn named Hermione Granger.  The girl is practically buried under the books she’s buying. It’s funny only because it looks like the books are under a charm if you don’t look below a certain level.  Donna helps the girl take her books up to the counter before searching for her own.

 

_ “I want to be in Gryffindor, it’s the best house and--” _

_ “That’s stupid,” Donna blinks, realising she’s been awful blunt.  Uncle Sev’s warned her about being tactful. She hastily continues as tears cloud the other girls’ eyes.  “Sorry, it’s stupid that people think Gryffindor’s the best. All the houses are good and you should be proud wherever you end up, because they’re all like families.  It don’t matter who came out of the House in the years before.” _

_ Hermione sniffs, before nodding.  “I suppose you’re right. Which house are you hoping for?” _

_ Donna hums, bouncing on the balls of her feet.  “I dunno. I mean, it’d be nice being Gryffindor because that’s where my daddy was, but I like Slytherin too.  Uncle Sev was there and mama was in Ravenclaw -- I never met my Auntie Alice but she was in Hufflepuff. So, I guess I don’t mind?  Remus says they’ll love me and be proud of me no matter my house.” _

_ Hermione is gaping at the end of Donna’s chatter.  Donna grins, feeling a bit flustered, before shrugging and asks if Hermione needs to get any more shopping done. _

 

Donna meets Neville on the train platform.

Truthfully, they’ve been sending letters back and forth for years, but Neville’s never been allowed out of Longbottom Manor.  Not unless his entire family is there and his Gran has her wand out. Donna thinks Lady Longbottom is terrifying, but she still greets her politely and asks if she and Neville can go find a compartment.  It’s a relief when she says yes.

So, Donna grabs Neville by the hand and drags him after her.  She’s intending to get a compartment big enough for her and Hermione, and Neville, and maybe Ron if he isn’t being a prat.  Draco can join them too as long as he keeps his opinions to himself or has learnt better in the last year. Donna really doesn’t want to start the school year by punching her sort-of cousin.

In the end, they don’t get a compartment just for them.  The one they find is okay though. There’s a girl named Daphne Greengrass --  _ call me Daphne, Potter.  then it’s Donna, Daphne _ \-- already sitting with a boy named Blaise Zabini.  They’re nice enough, Donna thinks, but Susan Bones is nicer and she’s there too.   Donna met Susan years ago, after her daddy was released from Saint Mungo’s the first time. Susan’s aunt was an old coworker of daddy, so she often brought Susan over to play with Donna. 

Neville doesn’t let go of Donna’s hand until Hermione arrives and introduces herself.  She’s dragging a boy behind her -- he introduces himself as Terry Boot, a muggleborn schoolmate of Hermione’s.  Neville ends up in a conversation with him about gardens -- Terry’s mother owns a greenhouse -- so, Donna feels okay talking to everyone else.

Zabini doesn’t seem interested in conversation but Daphne drags him into a few.  He’s witty and Donna thinks they’ll be friends. He kind of reminds her of Uncle Sev and Remus mixed into one -- Hermione asks her what’s wrong when Donna chokes on her chocolate; but Donna doesn’t dare say anything out loud.  Who knows if Uncle Sev has the train bugged?

He probably doesn’t.

Probably.

Either way, Donna gets the conversation away from her.  The new one, about how their families have been teaching them differently throughout the years, lasts until they get to Hogsmeade.  There Hagrid greets them and takes them down to the lake. Donna frowns when they get there, because he tells them no more than four to a boat, but there’s seven of them.  She spots Draco in the crowd, making the quick decision to push Neville into Hermione, Susan and Terry’s boat. She grabs Zabini and Daphne’s hands, pulling them to Draco and claiming a boat for the four of them.  Draco tries to glare but it comes out more of a pout, which Zabini and Daphne seem to think is funny.

 

_ “This is my sort-of cousin, Draco,” Donna nudges him until he gets into the boat, following behind with her hand still in Daphne’s.  “And Draco, this is Daphne Greengrass and Blaise Zabini. We met on the train.” _

_ “I am aware of who they are,” Draco sits with a huff. “Unlike you, I was not raised to be an uncouth heathen.” _

_ Donna watches as Daphne’s eyebrow raises but she just rolls her eyes at the other girl.  “Yes, yes sort-of cousin. We know you are the epitome of pureblood breeding. Excuse me while I live my life.”  _

_ Zabini makes a noise, but his face is blank when Donna turns to look at him. _

 

Professor McGonagall meets them at the doors.  Donna has to pause before greeting her, making sure she doesn’t call her Auntie Min.  She doesn’t, which is a good thing because Auntie Min is terrifying like Lady Longbottom.  Donna doesn’t need detention yet.

They wait for a while.  Because the older students have to get up to the castle.  Donna knows this, but she still gets bored. So, she ends up wandering and introducing herself to all the kids she doesn’t know.  When the ghosts come through the wall, Donna sends a cheerful hello to them. One of the girls -- a twin named Padme, she thinks -- she’s talking to nearly faints when Donna asked the Bloody Baron how his summer was.

McGonagall comes back to Donna apologizing profusely for nearly making the girl faint.

The sorting goes on without a hitch.  About a month ago, Donna decided she was going to cheer for everyone, no matter the house or if she knew them.  So, when Susan ends up in Hufflepuff Donna’s cheer is by far the loudest. Susan goes red as the Gryffindors laugh but Donna just shouts that she’s proud of Susan and maybe she’ll join her.  She almost hopes she ends up in Hufflepuff, if only to have an older friend there. Donna still doesn’t have a preference though, they’re all good houses.

Terry is sorted right after Susan and ends up in Ravenclaw -- Donna cheers for him too, even getting Neville to clap.  Hermione is next of her friends and the hat stalls for a long moment. In the end Hermione ends up going into Gryffindor.  Terry joins Donna in clapping, whistling when Hermione makes a face at Donna. She turns her scandalized gaze on him. It only lasts a few seconds before her new housemates are vigorously welcoming her.  Next is Daphne. Donna watches, amused, as she sits primly on the stool. The hat hums and haws before apparently deciding she’d be a better Slytherin. Donna makes a note to ask her what she was saying to the Hat.  It didn’t normally squeak when it shouted a house out.

Neville’s name gets called before they realise they’re even in the L’s.

Donna scowls at the hush that goes through the crowd.  She curls her fingers in Neville’s and tugs him forward -- because he’s hiding behind her and Donna isn’t one to let a friend go by themself.  So, she tugs Neville to the stool and stands beside it as he gets sorted. Aunt Min doesn’t approve, Donna can tell. But she won’t let Neville do this by himself.  Everyone is staring at him and whispering and no one deserves that. Obviously recognizing the look on Donna’s face, Aunt Min sighs and doesn’t make her go back to her place.  

 

_ It’s been about ten minutes of the Hat thinking.  It’s odd, because Donna’s seen a few sortings and it’s never taken this long.  Neville tries to pull his hand away but Donna rolls her eyes, and pokes him with her free hand.  “I’m not leaving you alone, so, stop it.” _

_ She ignores the way the hall goes silent again.  Not that it matters. The mutterings and rumours aren’t worth anything.  As long as Donna is true to herself and her family and friends, well, she doesn’t care about the others. _

_ The Hat turns to ‘look’ at her, obviously having heard her.  Donna jumps a bit when it speaks. _

_ “Where do you think your friends should go?” _

_ “I don’t know,” Donna responds, trying to copy Uncle Sev’s look of reproach.  Her heart is racing though -- maybe Neville can feel it because he doesn’t try to pull away again.  “You’re the one who is suppose to sort us.” _

_ There’s a sound from the brim of the Hat.  Maybe it’s laughing. Either way, it’s taking a long time and Aunt Min’s face is scrunching up. _

_ “True, true,” the Hat turns back away from her. _

_ Rude. _

_ “Better be,” it pauses and Neville’s hand tightens around Donna’s almost painfully.  “GRYFFINDOR.” _

 

Aunt Min glares at her then.  But Donna has no intention of following Neville to the table.  She can check on him in the morning, at breakfast. Having caused a bit of difficulty already, Donna goes back to her spot and cheers for each of her classmates, until it’s her turn.

She’s not surprised when she hears someone mutter about needing someone to hold her hand.  She thinks for a moment, about asking Uncle Sev or Aunt Min too, maybe even Professor Dumbledore, but she’s sure to get detention if she does.  Instead she slips on the stool, smiling brightly at the student body and thinks about burning clothing.

 

_ The Hat screams out loud, much to Donna’s delight.  She hadn’t thought that she would get a reaction from it. _

_ “You really scared Neville, taking so long.  It’s not polite or in good taste to tease someone that way.  It’s almost bullying.” _

_ Donna doesn’t care that the Hall has gone silent again.  If the Hat is going to be rude, well, it’s fair play. _

_ ‘You know, most respect me.’ _

_ “I would, if I didn’t know it doesn’t take that long to sort someone.” _

_ ‘Humph.  I can take as long as I’d like, you know.’ _

_ Aunt Min is glaring at her again.  Donna wants to turn her head to see what Uncle Sev is doing, but the hat is already unsteady on her head.  She doesn’t want to drop it, even if it is rude. _

_ ‘Ah, so you do have manners.’ _

_ “Of course I do.  Now, if you would sort me, I believe the rest of my classmates would like to be sorted.” _

_ ‘Ah, but you’re harder than your terrified friend.  Plenty of courage, lots of knowledge, you have a thirst in you--’ _

_ “Yes, yes.  All of that goes to prote--” _

_ “HUFFLEPUFF IT IS.” The Hat shouted it louder than it had shouted for any of the other students.  Before Donna could take off the Hat it went back to speaking only to her. ‘Try not to give your teachers too much grief.  You’re a bit much.’ _

_ “Rude.” _

 

Susan is laughing when Donna joins her.  It takes a few minutes and multiple pokes to her friends’ side to calm her down.  It also takes longer because Donna insists on cheering for everyone, just like she said she would.

Ron gets sorted into Gryffindor, just like his brothers and Donna grins at him.  He grins shyly back, but she can tell he’s ecstatic. 

 

_ “I thought Ron was a prat?” Susan giggles as she leans heavily on Hannah Abbott. _

_ “Oh he is, but he has his moments and the rest of his family is great.  Charlie showed me this Room before he graduated, I’ve g--” _

_ “Zabini, Blaise.” _

_ “Oh, hang on Su.  I want to see if he’s Slytherin or Ravenclaw.” _

_ Susan leans to get a better look at Zabini.  “What does it matter?” _

_ Donna produces a piece of paper from her pocket.  “Draco, Daphne and Zabini agreed on a bet, if one of them didn’t get Slytherin the others would owe them ten knuts.” _

_ “Why?” Susan looks confused, which isn’t all that surprising.  Donna had been confused too. _

_ “Who knows?  But they made me keeper of the bet.” _

_ “SLYTHERIN.” _

 

Donna cheered for Zabini before being pulled into a conversation.  She ended up glancing over half-way through dinner, to see the Bloody Baron sitting beside Draco.  Laughing, she darted a look at the head table, gauging whether it would be worth the risk of sneaking over.

From the look on Uncle Sev’s face, it wasn’t.

So, she turned back to Susan, cheerfully adding to Susan’s story about their adventure in the woods outside Potter Manor when they were seven.


End file.
